Out There4

"Hello Geema," Amelia said as she sat next to her grandmother. 'Geema' was a nickname, a shortened form of grandma, from when Amelia was too young to say the whole title.

"Hello sweetie, how's your day so far?" Geema said smiling and giving her a hug.

"Alright, same as ever. I got a new book today though so it's better than some."

Her grandmother smiled. She was the one person Amelia could tell everything too and she tended to know much of her thoughts. They often joked about Geema's psychic powers. 

Geema understands, about books and everything else! Why can't Jace?

"Everything okay with you and Jace?" Geema asked noticing Amelia look a few tables down where Jace sat with his family.

Nodding, "Same as its been the last few months, we don't seem to agree or have anything in common anymore. It was easier when we were younger." 

Geema smiled knowingly, "it will get better, it always does. Be patient darling, you've only got a little while before your an adult. Just wait for all those responsibilities," She was teasing Amelia, since they both knew Amelia worked harder at her classes than anyone else in her group. Amelia couldn't wait to be considered an adult and hopefully feel a part of something.

Grateful for her grandmother and her cheerfulness, Amelia turned her focus on her dinner.

Later, As they walked back to their apartment, her grandmother's arm through her own, Geema said," Have you decided what jobs you want to try yet?"

Jobs were given at the age of twenty. Students graduated, and got a chance to  try a few different jobs offered on the station. Each person picked two to try and their teachers could recommend them for any jobs they showed aptitude. For instance aptitude in math or science may encourage a job with the engineers that kept the station running. Or aptitude in horticulture lecture could mean a job in the hydroponic labs growing food or in the kitchens to prepare food.

"Not yet, I have read through the options and what each requires but none stick out as 'the one!'," she said shrugging a little, "I hoped one would stand out for me."

I also fear being an outsider for the rest of my life. 

"It will, sweetie. That's why you get to try them out first. That will help." Geema was so optimistic.

And that's what I have to be too! No more doubts, be confident that good things will happen.

"Thanks, Geema."

Back in her room she packed the books she needed for tomorrow and collected the papers with the job information. Trying to be quiet, since her grandmother went to bed early, she climbed onto her bed, sighing at being able to relax.

She spread the sheets out on her green comforter, so she could see each one.

I don't think engineering is for me, my assessments in math are good but I definitely don't enjoy math or some of the science needed to be an engineer. 

Kitchens doesn't sound like fun, maybe cooking for a few people but cooking for hundreds at the same time seems tedious. Growing food seems like more fun, but I wouldn't get to pick only one, kitchens would be part of it.

Amelia shook her head, moving on to the next option.

Maintenance handled cleaning up and repairing anything broken, while I don't mind cleaning up, what if I don't have the skills to repair some of the more complicated technologies.

 Teaching required extra studies and waiting for a spot to open up. Teaching sounds like fun but most of my teachers are younger so I'd be waiting awhile. 

Again she shook her head, turned off by the possibility of waiting years to start a job.

Of course there was the library.  I love being there, I love books, would I still love them if I spent all my time staring at them, copying them over and over? It's the only one that I won't end up hating but I don't think it will make me happy either.

Amelia's sigh was loud in the room around her. 

Why was this so hard? Was everyone else having the same difficulties and doubts?

She knew Jace was all set, it had been a few years since he had decided food was for him. He loved all aspects and had even started cooking practice.

Letting out a big sigh, Amelia stacked the papers back together, the library one on the top. She would ask Geema in the morning for her opinion. 

She climbed back into bed, pulling the covers up around her shoulders. Within minutes she was asleep.