There it was again. This time E heard it clearly. Sitting up in bed she turned head and sat still, hardly breathing, in order hear it again. Seconds ticked by, the hand on the clock loud in the silent room. Outside the wind whipped around, muffled by the window panes. She was almost ready to dismiss the noise like she had five or six times in the last half hour; alone the house it was easy to believe she was hearing things, if only for her sanity. Just as she started to lay back down, she heard it, in a brief calming of the wind, a sound that sent shivers down her spine. A low growl or whine, so obviously not the wind. There was no way she could ignore it which meant she would not be getting any sleep until she determined exactly what had made the sound.
Pulling on her robe she kept at the end of her bed she crept to her bedroom door and then paused to listen. The silence of the house screamed in her ears making her feel jumpy. She knew all the doors and windows were locked and that she should be safe inside but being alone made her question her resolve. She went over her nightly routine in her head, trying to determine if she had indeed locked all could be entrances or simply imagined it. She had been distracted as she shut the house up for the night. At six months, the baby enjoyed somersaulting around in her stomach, especially in the evenings. The nightly kicks and jabs often distracted her so that the most she could do was close her eyes and wait until the baby calmed down. Most night it was three or four bursts of activity usually no more than a few minutes long.
That night the baby had been more forceful and by the end of the session she was breathless. But other than that the night had been routine. After she finished putting away the dinner dishes, a much shorter job when alone, she turned off all but the light above the stove. She had a habit of locking the door behind her whenever she came home but she always checked to make sure both the front and back door were secure before heading upstairs.
Shaking her head a little, she told herself all was secured and safe in the house and moved forward into the hall.
The house was less than a year old which accounted for the lack of creaking floorboards as she eased along the hall and down the stairs. She gripped the railing as she went, knowing the big baby belly threw her balance off. She sighed as her hand slid along the dark polished wood, remembering a day a little more than a year ago when He had surprised her with the staircase she had always pictured in the house she had pictured them in. The sensation of His hands over her eyes, the laughter as she stumbled over the threshold, she saw and felt it clearly. The moment when he finally took his hands away and she opened her eyes. Seeing only him, his excitement in his surprise for her, his eyes shined and he smiled her favorite smile. The smile he wore the day they first met; the smile that always left her weak and breathless. She remembered that treasured moment for him and how he was, how they were. The memory was not about the perfect house that they both had loved. Often happy thoughts ended with sadness when she realized there wouldn't be more with Him. However she was determined to focus on happy memories for the baby's sake as well as her own. There would be no new memories of Him. When once almost all new memories would feature the two of them together, now she lived knowing the old memories was all she would ever have.
At the bottom of the curved stairs was the front door and even in the dim light trickling down from her bedroom she could see it was still locked and just as she left it a couple hours before.
To her right was the living room, the heavy drapes over the large windows were still closed and all looked as it should be. She took a step into the living room anyways and paused to listen. Almost immediately she heard the sound again, much louder now and she whipped around instinctually, knowing now it was coming from the direction of the kitchen.
More cautious, one hand brushing the wall as she walked toward the archway that led to the kitchen. As she got closer she squinted trying to see if the back door was still secure before venturing in. Only a few feet from the archway she stopped and felt instant cold all over. She had left the light on but the kitchen was darkness itself. She tried to rationalize the darkness with reassurances such as she had forgotten to turn it on or the bulb had burned out. But even as she repeated them over and over, dread filled her. She was alone, miles from any neighbor, and there were noises radiating from her kitchen from an unknown source. She was scared.
But she was also not the same woman who had first come to live here. The first few months were full of new sounds, which is normal in a new house in a new town and He always was her knight in shining armor, happy to check each time. Now if she wanted to be reassured, she had to check. So here she was, checking a noise that would of course be like all the rest. Something harmless and obvious that was only scary in the not knowing. These thoughts did nothing to reassure her as she stood frozen in the dark.
She drew in a deep breath and straightened her shoulders, she would walk in now or she never would. If the something making the noise decided to cry out again before she got into the kitchen, she knew she would run as fast as she could the other direction, never to know, never to sleep peacefully again.
She forced her feet to move forward, one step, then two and sooner than she wished she was in the archway, peering across the space at the backdoor. Which to her surprised, because she had since convinced herself that an axe murdered was lurking somewhere within, was closed and locked as she had left it. She blew out the breath she was holding and took another step into the kitchen. She heard nor saw anything out of the ordinary so she turned to her left and switched on the overhead lights.
The lights revealed an empty kitchen and she shook her head, a little embarrassed at her overreaction. E moved to the stove and duck her head to look at the bulb. There was no bulb. She stared in confusion at the empty socket. It didn't make sense, she was absolutely sure there was a light bulb the night before but she had no recollection of removing it. She stood straight trying to find a logical reason the bulb was missing when she hadn't touched it and there hadn't been another person in the house for more than two months.
As she turned to face the rest of the kitchen, there was a creak. She froze, knowing each sound of the house after spending many sleepless nights listening. It sounded like the basement door, which was a relatively new sound only a few weeks old and had yet to fix. It also only creaked when opened or closed.
She took the four steps, ready to step through the arch, when she collided with a very solid and very human object, to which she promptly bounced off in her momentum. Before she could hit the floor strong hands reached out to catch her. She brought her eyes up and stared as her eyes adjusted to the dim light. Her eyes widened and she stopped breathing as she stared into the greenest eyes she'd ever seen. His hand came up to touch her temple, it was almost a caress and then all was
darkness.
E woke up quickly, her eyes open wide. It took her a few seconds to process as she stared at the ceiling. She was confused momentarily at the smooth white expanse above her. Didn't her bedroom have swirls on the ceiling? She caught a glimpse of bookshelves out the corner of her eye and she turned to look at the floor to ceiling shelves that flanked the living room's fireplace. E realized that she must have fallen asleep on the couch; it was rare that this happened but what other explanation was there to her waking up downstairs.
She sat up and found the clock on the wall behind her, 2:03. What had woken up, she wondered. Since the baby, she slept soundly through the night. She stood up and was instantly dizzy; she braced herself on the arm of the couch and waited for brilliant green swirls faded. Green? Why was she seeing green, the other times she had been dizzy, her vision just blurred around the edges. This was bright green and it was all she could see for a few moments until it faded. Very weird she thought.
Shrugging off what she decided was just a weird night, she headed for her bed. But then she remembered why she was out of bed. The noise downstairs, she just had to investigate, and she recalled being in the kitchen and then nothing. Until she woke up on the couch. It seemed unlikely that she had dreamed it all, but dreaming after falling asleep on the couch did seem the only explanation. Feeling a bit drained from the lateness and the coldness from the floor seeping through her socks, she gave up thinking in exchange for sleep.
The blankets warmed up around her and E closed her eyes in the bliss of a warm and comfortable bed on a cold night. Sleep found her quickly and she dreamed dreams she wouldn't remember upon waking. Dreams of green eyes.
Sunlight was seeping around the edges of her bedroom curtains when she finally opened her eyes. The clock on her nightstand told her it was 830, a bit later than her usual 6 am wake up. But she felt rested and full of energy so she decided her body had needed the extra sleep. She rolled out of bed, tying her favorite robe, fuzzy blue with penguins on it, headed for the kitchen. Once in the kitchen, instead of turning on the lights, she pushed aside the curtains covering the window over the sink as well as the slider door. She loved natural light, preferring to open the curtains over flipping light switch. Eyes adjusting the the brightness E saw it had snowed sometime in the night. She smiled. She loved the snow. She loved to watch it swirling down around her to catch in her hair or falling shimmering and sparkling as she sat warm by a fire. It was fresh and undisturbed, brand new and pristine, a winter wonderland just for her.
She knew once she got outside she wouldn't want to come back in to eat. So she pushed the button the the coffee maker, set to go the night before with her favorite decaf breakfast blend and popped two pieces of bread in the toaster. She grabbed homemade jam from the fridge, smiling as she remembered the days picking berries and the day they had spent canning the jams. Every weekend in September they had picked berries, raspberries, blackberries, blueberries and strawberries and then frozen them in preparation for making jams. They had found the farm just down the road only about a mile and each picking day they were out of the house early. The sun low in the sky, a slight chill still in the air encouraged closeness as they walked. His arm over her shoulders and hers around his waist, it was idyllic. By the time they reached the fields, baskets in hand, they had both warmed up. They walked down the rows of bushes five feet tall, each picking a different side, occasionally switching. As the walked and picked, they talked. They talked about how delicious the berries were and how much fun it was. They talked about other things that needed to get done that day. They talked about making it a tradition to go berry picking every year and eventually bring their children too. But that wouldn't happen now that he was gone. Sure she could and would bring this baby to the farm, but it wouldn't be the same without him.
The toast popped up startling her out of her reverie. She placed the toast on a plate and grabbed a knife from the drawer and her favorite green mug that fit her hands perfectly. She spread jam on her toast and put a little sugar in her coffee then climbed into on of the stools at the counter to eat. Taking a bite of toast she pulled one of the books she was reading towards her. She usually left the books in the room she read them in. This particular book, a baby book detailing what happened each month for a baby and mother, she had been reading the last few mornings as she ate breakfast. She was also in the middle of a romance novel, that she liked to read in her comfy chair by the fire and a science fiction novel about aliens that she kept in her purse. As long as she read different authors and genres she wouldn't get the stories mixed up. The way she read books, a few at a time, and up to 80 in a year, always made sense to her but not to other people. She didn't know a lot of people who inhaled books like she did. So trying to get someone who maybe read one or two books in a year to understand her passion and love of books, was difficult. She only knew two people who understood her relationship with books. Her sister and Him.
When they first started dating ten years early she was just starting her senior year of high school and he had just graduated a different high school. At the end of their first date, they sat holding hands in an empty movie theater and he had leaned over, kissed her gently and that was it. She was gone, completely in love, they hadn't known each other long but she felt the rightness of him with every cell in her body. At the end of their fourth date she had shown him her childhood bedroom. He had walked in and laughed. Unable to afford more than two bookshelves, books were two deep and stacked two high on the shelves as well as any flat surface including the floor. E had stood back in the doorway giving him space to take it in or run out the door. She had held her breath hoping he wouldn't mind her craziness. She had told him on their first date, that she liked to read, would her minimization of her obsession scare him off? But then he had turned around and was smiling that smile and laughing that laugh. "You like to read, huh?" He had hugged her then and She had felt accepted and loved. They had never looked back.
Her sister, T, was like her and understood completely, inhaling books at a similar rate. They had often recommended each other books or exchanged for ones missing from either collection. It was nice to have someone understand and talk about the book each had read. In the last couple years it had been less and less though. T had been offered and accepted a great job teaching math at one of the top high schools in the state and had less time for reading novels. As happy as She was for T to have her dream job, She missed her a lot. And when He and E moved here, they were even farther away. A four hour drive was difficult to fit in while working a full time job and grading papers, so She had only seen her sister twice in the last year. Once when they said good bye to Him and the other two months ago to check up on her. T worried about her, living alone in such a big house, secluded and pregnant. T had tried to convince E to stay at her apartment so she wouldn't be alone. She had politely refused, she would hold on to this house and its memories as long as she could.
E washed the couple of dirty dishes she had made then went up to her room. She pushed the dark green curtains open and then smoothed up the quilts on the bed. Across the room, she went through the french doors into the walk in closet. Big enough to be a small bedroom, the closet was divided in half: His and hers. Designing the closet, had been fun. They were able to put exactly what types of storage they knew their wardrobe would use. This closet was much more efficient than any of the closets they had had in the apartments they had rented where the most you got was a rod and a couple shelves. This closet had double rows, one over the other, of hanging rods on each side. The rods were bisected with drawers that went from the floor to the ceiling. Against the far wall, opposite the doors was a vanity with a bench seat. Anchored in the wall was an enormous mirror, big enough so that she could stand back and see an entire outfit if she wanted. One of her favorite parts of the closet was the tiles around the edge of the mirror. The tiles were light blue-green squares with slightly rounded corners. She had found them at a yard sale a couple days before moving in. She had turned around to show him at the same time he had turned to show her a bolt of fabric; it was the exactly same shade of green. She had spent the next afternoon sewing curtains, the bolt of fabric had been the perfect amount for the living room and bedroom curtains. The tiles they had glued onto the mirror together a few days after moving in.
Resisting glancing at the right half of the closet, she grabbed jeans and a dark green sweater from her drawers and pulled them on. She ran her brush through her hair, looking in the mirror. She thought she looked bigger today, some days didn't look different from the last but others seemed drastic, though she knew it was gradual. She had seen her doctor a few days before and all was progressing as it should. She put the brush down and turned sideways. Her breasts were bigger but it was less noticeable in contrast to the giant belly below. She ran her hand over her stomach, smoothing the sweater over the rounded contours. She felt a small tremor and smiled; the baby was awake. Much less active in the morning, the baby settled quickly and E pulled on a pair of thick wool socks in preparation for her expedition outdoors.
Downstair she lost no time, grabbing her snow boots, jacket, hat, scarf and gloves, from the front hall and went to sit at the kitchen table to put it all on. All layered up she tucked her house keys and phone in the inside jacket pocket and headed out the slider door.
The air was cold, a stark contrast to the kitchen, but welcome in its freshness. She walked off the deck, her feet crunching in the snow at the bottom of the stairs. Closing her eyes she raised her face to the sun, absorbing what heat it gave. She opened her eyes and turned back around. Her deck was clear of snow. It had snowed at least five inches but the deck was only slightly damp, already drying in the sun. Someone had shoveled her deck. She walked through the gate to the front of the house. Front steps were shoveled. Her car had been cleared. And the walk way between the steps and her car as well. Who had shoveled and when? She was sure she would have heard some outside even in her bedroom. Could she have slept through it? And who would shovel her house in the middle of the night. Then she remembered the noise from last night. The one she had decided was a dream when she found herself on the couch. Could the noise have been someone shoveling? Maybe she had heard it as she slept on the couch and her dreaming brain had adapted her dreams around the sound. It was plausible she thought but the main question was: who? Her closest neighbors were a mile or so down the road, one a family with two young children and a father who traveled for work and the other an elderly couple who had both retired years ago and seldom left the house. Neither seemed likely as the shoveling culprit. Most of her family and his family lived a couple states away and were not likely here for a visit in the middle of the night. Her sister was closest, but still two hours away. Though T was the most likely as she was closest, E wasn't convinced, it just didn't make any sense. She would more reasonably believe she had shoveled it in her sleep or that there was a shoveling angel, going house to house anonymously. She sighed, she had no explanation for this bizarre, yet helpful, turn of events. She liked to shovel but not with extra baby weight so a shoveling angel was just what she needed.
Deciding not to ruin the day with wondering that would get her know where, she walked back to the back yard and through the gate at the far end of the yard. About fifteen feet after the gate the trees began, the branching blocking some of the sun. Confident she could follow her footprints back, she just walked. Snow shimmered everywhere she looked, bright sparkles interspersed with the brown stripes of the tree branches. It was beautiful. Quiet and serene, she felt alone, the last moving being in this world of glass. She came to a small hollow, about ten feet across, the clearing was pristine, untouched. She walked slowly to the center and lay down. The sun was almost directly over head, a bright orb surrounded by a circle branches. Her eyes were full of sun and sky, bright and demanding. Her nose was full of clean crisp air, snow with the hint of evergreens. Her ears filled with silence that wasn't, a quiet calmness at the same time loud and harsh. Every inch of her could feel the cold, seeping through the layers, a reminder to get up. Reminder she didn't belong in this frozen world, she could only visit.
Her sigh was loud in the air around her as she sat up. She had created a snow angel that had no wings. She moved to stand up but dropped back down, her belly unbalancing her. She tried again and lay back down laughing at herself. She still forgot sometimes how hard it was to get up. She lay a minute more catching her breath to try again, when a shadow fell over her. Blinking up she saw a person in shadow, the sun directly behind their head.
"Need some help?"it was deep voice, definitely male.
I hesitated, staring up at him, trying to make out any features. With the sun behind him, I couldn't see much but I thought that maybe he was smiling. I realized he was holding out his hand and making up my mind, i reached up to grab it. As soon as our hands touched he started pulling me upward, his other hand reaching out to touch my shoulder. He let me get steady on my feet before releasing my hand and taking a step back. Right side up once more I could see him clearly. My first thought was gorgeous. He was tall with dark brown hair, that had a slight wave to it, a handsome face, it was narrow which suited his frame. His smile was warm and inviting making me feel at ease immediately though I had never met him before . He was thin but not in an underweight scrawny way, but thin in a way that seemed to suit him. Long arms with muscles clearly defined and visible since he was only wearing a thin sweater. I realized he had been patiently waiting for her to speak while her eyes had evaluated him. I felt heat rise in my cheeks and hoped the cold from the day would cover it up.
"Thank you" I said, my voice cracking a bit, making me realize it had been a few days since I had last spoken out loud. Not since my doctors appointment four days ago. She frowned, that wasn't good, four days was too long. She vowed to do better, it was too easy to lose herself alone, maybe she could find a coffee shop near by to work from. Even one day a week would guarantee a little human interaction.
I had done it again, distracted by my thoughts. But there he was still staring at her in that unobtrusive way that said 'it's okay take your time, I'll be right here'.
"I apologize. My brain has been easily distracted lately. Thank you for helping me up. This belly is difficult to maneuver sometimes. And I probably shouldn't have lain down anyways, I know how hard it is to get off the couch, let alone another foot further down. Thanks." Starting out normal, my babbling grew until I was finally able to stop. He was still staring, now with a half smile that quirked up one side of his mouth. That smile was making my stomach do flip flops, it was so similar to His smile, all she could was stare.
"It was nothing," he said, still smiling, now his eyes had joined in. His eyes were warm and laughing, like he knew something I didn't, and green, the deepest green I had ever seen. Bright and dark and endless. I was lost looking at them, they seemed draw me in and hold me. So green. I shook my head to clear it, glancing away from him, from his eyes. I felt shaken from just looking into a man's eyes, what was wrong we me?
"Alright?'" He spoke his tone low and cautious. His smile was gone from his face replaced with a look of concern and what I thought looked like fear.
"Yes, of course," I said, getting a hold of myself now, "just dizzy from standing up so quickly." It was a lie but there was no way I would admit to getting lost in this strangers eyes, especially to him.
He still seemed unsure, less confident now, he took a half step toward me, his hand out.
"Can I help you home," he asked.
"No, no. I am perfectly fine. Thank you for your help, I would have been there all day," i said, hoping to lighten the mood, that seemed tense for some reason.
"Really, let me walk you home, please? I don't mind. Your just back that way?" He gestured behind me, where my line of footprints stretched.
I was cautious, now he would know where I lived. Not that it would be hard for him to find it on his own if he wanted, I just wasn't so sure about walking up to the door with him.
"Just to your yard then, I wouldn't be able to stop worrying if I left you on your own out here. Anything could happen, what if you slipped and fell or lay down again and couldn't get up," this was said in all seriousness until the very end where both our mouths smiled slightly at the reminder, "I promise you no harm. On my honor," he spoke softly now, a whisper but his last three words were a stab in my heart. He had spoke those words to me over the years from our first date when he assured me we would take it slow, to the day I had told him I was pregnant.
I had been worried, anxious to tell him. We hadn't planned to have a baby for a few more years. We needed to get the house in order, still in the process of moving in and put more in our savings, since most of it had already been spent on the house. It was important to both him and me to do things at the right time. Neither of us good at winging it, some semblance of a plan was needed for any major life changes. Knowing this I had been nervous to tell him about the baby. I had cleaned the house and put on my green dress, his favorite. I made his favorite dinner, chicken parmesan and lit candles around the dining room. And then he had come in the door and seen my surprise and he had smiled that smile. That was it, I stopped worrying and knew it would be okay as long as he was by my side. We had eaten and talked like we did every other night. At the end I brought in the dessert I had made and placed the plate in front of him; two cupcakes, one with pink frosting and one with blue frosting, a question mark on the plate written in frosting. He stared at them a few seconds before realization of what I was telling him dawned. He had turned to me then, smothering me in a hug, smiling and laughing.
"Pregnant? We are really having a baby?!" He asked, pulling back to look at my face. I nodded and he hugged me tighter.
"You're happy? Not upset that it is sooner than planned?" I asked. He pulled back again with an incredulous expression, looking into my eyes,
"Happy? You crazy woman, I've never been happier! On my honor! Though the first time we met and our wedding day are close seconds."
I sighed audibly with relief at his promise, knowing we could conquer anything as long as we were together.
The mysterious man was still looking at me, waiting for an answer, unaware what his words did to me.
"Please?" He asked, stepping a bit closer. No doubt worried I would collapse at any moment.
I looked at his face, into his eyes, and saw only concern.
Making up my mind I said, "Alright, just to my yard...thank you."
He smiled then and moved to my side, holding out his arm as smoothly as any old fashioned gentleman. I laughed a little at it but put my hand in to crook of his elbow nevertheless.
"What's so funny?" He asked as we stepped forward together.
"You offering your arm." I explained, still smiling, "Very out of place nowadays, especially in the middle of the woods. More common in the historical fiction books I read, where gentleman in top hats strolled through manicured gardens with ladies in complicated dresses on their arms."
He smiled too, "I am of the opinion that the world would be better off if some of those old fashion ideas came back into practice. Some, not all. I'd keep the rights and laws we have today that have been fought so hard for but i think encouraging more honor and consideration for our fellow man would make the world a better place."
"I completely agree" I said, surprised and glad at his forthrightness. "I often read things in books that I wish could combine with present day. To be able to have the scientific advances we have now as well as the honor and loyalty of the highland Scots would be great!" I added, encouraged by his openness to express my own views that most would laugh at.
"Scots huh?" He said chuckling.
I blushed a little, "Some of my favorite books are about the Highlands. So that was first time period to come to mind."
"I see."
I turned to look at him to find him smiling down at me. He smiled with his whole face, his mouth slightly crooked, a shadow of a dimple in his left cheek, laugh lines around his eyes and green eyes that seemed to sparkle. A smile started on my own face without any conscious thought. And then we were standing still in the middle of the snow covered woods, bodies turned slighted towards each other, my hand still in his elbow, now covered with his other hand. A hand that seemed to be radiating heat into my always cold hands. A bird called loudly somewhere behind us, breaking whatever hold had held us. We both laughed a little and started walking again. As we moved forward over the footprints I had made on my way into the woods, there was a quiet. We walked in a now comfortable silence, hearing the crunch of our steps in the snow.
It should be weird to be alone in the woods with a stranger, but after my initial hesitation, it didn't feel weird. The weird part was that it almost felt normal, that walking with this man was not unusual.
"I don't even know your name?" I said suddenly, as soon as I realized.
"I don't know yours either" he said with a smile.
"Emelia." I said with an answering smile on my face.
"Jamie. Nice to meet you, Emilia" he said. And was like a caress hearing my name on his lips. Like I had been waiting an eternity to hear it. That was weird. I have to get a hold of myself. I should not be reacting this way to a total stranger. Maybe it was the babies hormones causing her to act like this. Yes, that must be it. Just hormones, it wasn't Jamie himself causing this reaction, she would be doing the same no matter who had rescued her from the snowy forest floor.
"Everything okay?" He asked and I realized I had been quiet too long.
"Yes, yes. Of course, " I reassured, "I get distracted quite easily the few months, your name reminded me of a book and a book always distracts me" i explained. Though it was a bit of a lie since I had really been chiding myself for my inappropriate reaction to him; it was also very common occurrence so I didn't feel too bad.
"Books are important to you, a big part of you." He said this as a statement of fact, there was no question at the end.
"Am I that obvious?" I laughed a little. "I love to read books, collect books, sometimes just look at books. The majority of the time I would rather be reading than anything else"
"That is wonderful, its rare to find someone with a love of books like yours. Too many people have fallen to television, video games or magazines. They miss out on the greatness of getting immersed in a story. I admire you for that love. I often wish I had more time to read, never more than when you talk about books. You inspire me."
My blush this time must have color my cheeks a deep red, I hoped the cold had covered some of it up.
"You seem to appreciate books and their importance which may be considered more important than actually reading them. I am sure when you do have time, you will find yourself with a book in your hand"
He smiled "Thank you, that makes me feel a bit better. I definitely felt to be slacking on my reading."
I inclined my head and smiled then turned my head forward, realizing we were only a minute or two from our destination. Talking with Jamie had made the walk fly by quickly. Realizing that we would be parting in a few moments I felt sad. Sadder than I should have for having just met him. He must have seen the gate as well for he slowed his steps, maybe hoping to delay the inevitable?
For some unthinkable reason, that thought made me a bit giddy. Was he feeling a connection too. As much as I try to deny it, i feel comfortable with this man I barely know, like I've known him years instead of less than an hour. Did he feel that too? It made no sense that I felt anything, even less that he was too. But by this point we were barely moving forward, our steps both slowing until we came to a stop, ten feet from my garden gate.
Hoping to prolong our contact, I said, "thank you for walking me home. I appreciated the company as much as the assurance that if I felt like laying down again, I would have a way back up" I ended with a smile. He was smiling too, "Of course, anytime." He spoke and I could hear and feel the feeling behind the words. He meant it. Anytime. I shivered, I liked what he said and how he said it. They stood there facing each other, my hand now in his instead of in the bend of his elbow. I looked down at our hands, at the same time realizing that I was holding his hand. How did that happen? It felt good, wonderfully nice after what felt like such a long time.
"Is this okay?" He asked, indicating our hands with a gentle squeeze.
"I'm not sure" I said honestly. I had no idea how I felt about it or the fact that we had literally just met. It was weird and strange but I did know that I didn't want to stop holding his hand. Which scared me more than anything, enough that I stepped back and released his hand. He let me go, only a trace of sadness in his eye before he nodded.
"I understand. I have very much missed this."I must have looked confused because he continued hurriedly, "It has been a long time since I was able to hold hands with someone, my wife and I were...separated and I have wished to feel that connection again since then." He looked so forlorn, devastated, that tears formed in my eyes, his words so close to what I felt every day since His accident.
